Syaoran's Diary
by Sakkie
Summary: S+S! Attempting to tell Sakura how he feel's Syaoran decides to let her read his diary! (Entries included!) COMPLETE!
1. Chapter One

Disclaimer: No own CCS, clamp, AND NO OWN Syaoran!!! *Sob* But someday, he WILL BE MINE  
  
I decided to space it out a little more into Three chapters! ^_^  
  
~~**~*--------*~**~~  
  
**RING, RING**  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Syaoran! It's your mother, your time is done in Japan you can come home now. We bought you tickets for a flight in two days! So I suggest you get all **unfinished business** taken care of!"  
  
"OK mom, bye," Syaoran hung up the phone, "why did she change her tone of voice when she said unfinished business?" Syaoran muttered out loud, but then he heard a knock on the door and went to go answer it.  
  
"Hi Syaoran! Um, I kinda need help on the math homework..." Sakura said holding out her math book.  
  
"Ok, come in and take a seat I'll get some tea,"  
  
"Um Sakura my mom just called and I'm going back to Japan in two days."  
  
"Oh, how long will you be gone?"  
  
"I don't know, maybe forever." Syaoran could see Sakura's cheerful face drop, to a sad expression. 'I should tell her, since I have to leave,' Syaoran thought, 'but how to?' Just then he spotted his diary. "Here goes nothing!"  
  
"Hoe? Syaoran did you just say something?" Sakura asked, she was now behind Syaoran.  
  
He walked over to his room and Sakura followed and she sat on the bed.  
  
"Sakura I want you to read this."  
  
"But isn't that your di-"  
  
"Come on please?"  
  
"Ok, if you want me to..."  
  
~~**~*--------*~**~~  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!READ THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Even if you don't want to read the whole Diary just read the last part of the next Chapter, or you'll miss out on a rather-big CHUNK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!! 


	2. Chapter Two

Disclaimer: I don't own CCS? HAPPY? WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO RUIN A LITTLE GIRL'S DREAM HUH??? WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Sobbing)  
  
Last Chapter:  
  
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Sakura took the diary and went to the end of his bed using the wall to support her as she started to read:  
  
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5/15/97  
  
Oh, brother. I can't believe I'm actually writing in this thing. My mom bought it before I left. She told me to write my thoughts inside. Well, I have to do as my mom says. At least no one will read this. I just transferred to Japan to look for the chosen Card captor, the one that was chosen better than me. She (Yes, it's a girl) isn't near what I expected. She's so weak! I decided to see if I could get the cards. She resisted, and did an ok job at it, too, but it wasn't until her friends came to help that she got away from me. I'm not sure if that means we match in strength, or if that means I'm stronger. I know she is stubborn. Even if she scares easily, she's very stubborn. She said that she just kind of fell into being what she is. I guess she's never heard of destiny. I think I'll have to settle with helping her, instead of fighting her. I wouldn't want to hurt a defenseless girl, anyway.  
  
5/16/97  
  
I sit behind the Card captor. Today she was telling me that she was new to this again, and that she knew that she wasn't a master, like some people (Like me, of course) and then she started talking about my robes! I told her that they were the traditional Li family robes. I didn't tell her that I had to wear them, and that I thought they were completely dorky. Oh, well. They're not as dorky as the outfit she was wearing. 'Meow'?  
  
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Sakura looked up hoping to spot Syaoran but he had left the room.  
  
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5/17/97 And she caught the Flower card today. Why is there even a Flower card? It's not hard to capture, and in doesn't help in battle. The Cardcaptor was all exited. It's a card that makes Flower petals! She said her name meant 'Cherry Blossoms'. Duh! I'm not stupid!  
  
5/19/97  
  
Today I finally caught a card! I take back what I said about Sakura's outfits. (Oh, I just called her by her name!) Come to find out, she wears different outfits for each capture. And this one was actually kind of cute. I didn't have any sleeves, either. She looked like a fairy! Never mind, forget I said anything.  
  
5/20/97  
  
I don't know what's gotten into me. I helped Sakura capture a card today. And it wasn't so I could get it for myself... I just helped her. She doesn't even know I helped, and she thanked a couple of elephants. Elephants! I wonder how she was brought up, to thank a couple of animals when she thinks that they helped her. I'm not even sure why I helped her. She's just too innocent. I never thought I'd ever see anyone as naive as her. I'm not sure. I think ---- I might be falling for her---- No, I'm not. I just think she's kind of cute, that's all. Really cute. I'm going to stop now.  
  
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'Wait a Second! Did he write he was falling for me? True he crossed it out but... No way! He crossed it out, it just have just been a mistake.' Sakura thought to herself, not realizing she was slightly blushing. She looked around to try and find Syaoran again but he was still gone.  
  
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6/05/97  
  
Sakura caught another card today. The Erase. I was almost erased. She looked afraid for me. I wonder why.  
6/16/97 The summer festival was today. Sakura caught the glow card. That's a pretty useless one, too. Sakura watched it with Yukito. I don't think she knows about the word Careful. It's like she wants people to find out about her. She still doesn't seem to like me. It's not like I want her to, anyway. I like Yukito. I think. No! I don't like anyone!  
  
----------- Sakura giggled. He didn't seem to want to admit anything, even when no one would read it.  
  
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8/14/97  
  
Oh, lord. Guess who's here? You'll never guess. Of course you won't, you're a freakin' book. Meiling just got here. I say again, oh lord. She's being competitive with Sakura. I feel sorry for Sakura. It's a good thing I know that she's better than Meiling, or I'd have to do something to help her. Poor Meiling, she hasn't ever been in a contest and lost. Guess she'll have to find out the feeling sooner or later. I really haven't written in a while, huh? Well, over the last few months, I've come to a decision. I've fallen for Sakura. And hard. Very hard. God, she's beautiful.  
  
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Sakura read this. Enough said.  
  
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8/20/97 Today she caught the loop card. We were at a marathon run, and Meiling was competing with Sakura, as per usual. The annoying Gaki sprained her ankle, and I carried her to the end of the track. Sakura was actually worried about her. She is so sweet.  
  
8/30/97 This is going to be short. Tonight we caught the 'Song' card. Tomoyo is pretty good at singing, actually. But I still this Sakura could have done better.  
  
9/11/97  
  
I just saw 'Sakura' at the mall. But I'm not sure if it's really her. She knocked over a display of stuffed animals. Ok, I'm sure it's not her. I'm pretty sure it was a Clow card, but I can't tell the difference between The Card and the real Sakura. It's matched her aura exactly. The only thing to give it away is all the bad stuff it's doing. I'll have to watch out. If that thing comes NEAR Sakura.  
  
9/12/97  
  
It was a card! It didn't do anything to Sakura, thank god. Just her brother. I don't like him, anyway. But seeing her so worried is enough to make me. Well, temporarily. Come to find out it was the Mirror card. A very strong card, actually. She caught it all by herself, too. No help from me! Well, I did lead her to it (which is helpful with my sense of worth.), but she guessed what it was all by herself. Her magic is really getting stronger. I'm still acting like it isn't, though. She probably hates me. And if she doesn't, she is very, very weird.  
9/23/97 AAH! We got a substitute teacher today, and she most definitely has magic. Sakura didn't sense it but then again, she sensed the Clow card, and I didn't. Maybe she can only sense Clow magic. We got caught in The Maze card. I don't know why Clow Reed ever made that card. I mean, I like green... but yeesh! After a lot of tries to get out, the maze started to shift, and it ended up with Meiling on a completely different plane as Sakura, Tomoyo, and me. We had to go and try to get to her. She is so annoying. We went though a tunnel, and she disappeared. And then she comes around the corner, with the substitute! And she isn't even surprised! The teacher busted us out of the maze, and then Sakura captured the card. She is getting so good at that.  
9/26/97 This is going to be kind of short, I'm really tired. I found out today that Sakura likes Yukito. She thinks I like him, too. Then, after I almost ran off, she got caught in 'The Return' card, which was sapping magical energy for the Holy Tree. I used my Time card and brought her back. That was really scary. She hugged me, and then I fainted. I'm not sure if I blushed or not, I was too exhausted.  
  
9/30/97  
  
And I caught another card today! It should have been Sakura's, though. She's just too pure at heart. She wouldn't capture it because it was helping her friend. She was so sad when she captured it. I feel sorry for her. I think I'll let it out for a second tomorrow at the track meet. You know, so that girl will know that the little rat is ok. I'm not going to lend it's magic to her, though. She has to win herself. What kind of a name is 'Hoppy'?  
  
9/31/97  
  
I let it out today. All she saw was 'Hoppy' jumping up at the end of the track. Sakura ran up to me afterwards and asked if I gave her Dash's strength. I told her that I was surprised she would ever think that I'd do that. She looks so cute in her Cheerleading uniform.  
10/08/97  
  
And this time she didn't capture just one, but TWO Clow cards. My god, she is so beautiful. And smart. Still REALLY naive, but completely cute. I just hope she doesn't use The Big card again any time soon.  
  
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By this time Sakura was glancing up looking for Syaoran quite often, but she still couldn't find him. "Hm, I wonder where he went." Sakura said quietly to herself before continuing  
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10/12/97  
  
If Kero read this, I will kill him. Yesterday, Kero and I switched bodies. And I will tell you one thing, being a toy SUCKS!!! Especially if your not used to being one! I looked like a complete idiot to Sakura. You know, her room is a pretty good hideout for Kero; She has so many stuffed animals. She is REALLY pretty, even when she just gets up. Oh, god.  
10/21/97  
  
And another one for me. We went to a skating rink today, only to be attacked by the Freeze card. I didn't even know how to skate. I learned, though. Sakura learns fast, too. I've been blushing too much lately. If I didn't know how dense Sakura could be sometimes, I'd be worried. She is so cute. I love her so much.  
  
----------- Sakura was getting a little upset by the "dense" comments but she was now deeply into the diary, and couldn't stop reading.  
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11/12/97  
  
Sakura caught one of the strongest cards today. The Fiery. You know, for a minute before I found out why she wanted to talk to me, I thought she was flirting with me. Wishful thinking. Sometimes it takes all of my self- control not to just run over to her and kiss her as hard as I can. I hate my self-control.  
  
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At this Sakura turned bright red and looked up again, nope, Syaoran still wasn't back.  
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11/23/97  
  
I rode on The Fly. With Sakura! Oh. My. God. ~Sigh~, sometimes Meiling can act like such a baby. She had accidentally come across The Shot card, and when she found out what she had, she refused to give it to me, or anyone. But I rode on the Fly with Sakura! With her! ~Shivering~, It's not like I'm afraid of heights; I like heights, but with Sakura...Wow.  
  
11/28/97  
  
It's the beginning of a new school year. Sakura caught another card today. And showed off how much her power has actually grown. She was kinda scary. The teacher came again. I don't trust her a bit. She's up to something, I know it.  
12/07/97 The voice Card attacked today. It took Tomoyo's voice. Sakura caught it, of course. Not much else to say. Other then: Sakura is THE most beautiful girl in the WORLD, UNIVERSE, and so on. I'll stop now.  
  
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Sakura turned BRIGHT red once again, and re-read it to make sure she really saw what she thought she did.  
  
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12/10/97 The Dream card is weird. We captured the card INSIDE Sakura's dream, and when we woke up it was in my hand. That is so weird. She looked so scared in that dream. She had fainted in the hall when the Dream card hit, too, which really scared me. I hate how weak she makes me.  
12/13/97 And day thirteen strikes again. Why did they pick today to make us draw the characters? There's going to be a play at the Literary fest, and I, yes, me, I have to be the princess. And if it isn't bad enough, Sakura is the prince. This is completely whack. Oh, yeah, and today we caught the Sand card. We had worked together, and it acknowledged both of us as its holder. I gave it to Sakura, though. And you know, it hit right when we were practicing for the play. I would say perfect timing, but I was planning on slightly jerking my head. Stupid card.  
  
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A small giggle escaped from Sakura.  
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12/15/97 Today was the fest. I again avoided having Sakura kiss me when, not one, but two, at the SAME TIME, attacked. It was the Light, and Dark. And Sakura, of course, caught them. I'm afraid I'm getting too obsessed with her. Nah, no one can be too in love with Sakura, she's just too sweet.  
  
12/28/97 WOOHOO! Meiling left! Maybe know I won't be as embarrassed around Sakura. I still can't believe how much I seem to like her now. She probably doesn't even like me. She's just nice to everyone. I doubt that anyone could not like her. She's just so innocent, and cute! I really love her.  
1/02/98  
  
What a new year! Sakura captured the last Clow card, and became mistress of the cards! She really scared me. I take back the bad things I've said about that teacher, for the moment, anyway. She helped Sakura in her battle with Yue. If it weren't for that annoying teacher Sakura might be dead. Oh, lord. She scared me! If she ever even THINKS about doing something like that again, I'll kill her myself! No, I won't. But she really scared me. Annoying wench. If I didn't love her so much I'd have bashed her head in by now. She is so pretty. I wouldn't bash her head in, maybe just suffocate her. At least that won't screw with her features. She's really pretty. I'm going to miss her.  
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Sakura was a little freaked out about this one. I mean, would YOU like reading something that discussed how someone would kill you?  
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1/06/98  
  
There's a new kid in our class. The basterd was flirting with Sakura. I hate him. He smiles too much. Ok, back to Sakura! I'm going to stay here for now. There's no way in hell I'll leave Sakura alone anywhere with that Basterd. I'll just stay here until he leaves. Not that I mind.  
1/08/98  
  
Ok, now I have a better reason to stay here. The wand won't work on the Clow cards now, and Sakura has to change them to work on the wand. Tomoyo is calling them 'Sakura Cards'. Well, she's deserved the name. I just hope she's going to be ok. I won't be writing too much any more, I need to keep a close watch on Sakura; she's been getting attacked now. That and I'm nearing the end of the journal.  
3/13/98  
  
Guess what? Thirteen has officially become a very unlucky number. Well, for Sakura anyway. She tried to confess her feelings to Yukito today. She told me about it. The dumdum said that it wasn't love, it was just a crush. Or something like that. It almost broke my heart when she told me she confessed to him, why not me? I would give anything to have Sakura love me! I doubt I'd care if it were real love. Well, yes I would. She was so sad after he did that. I should go find him a kick the crap out of him. How dare he hurt her like that! I hate it when she cries. It makes me want to cry. I really don't like it when she cries. I hugged her, to try to make her stop. Well, kind of. Poor girl got her heart broken, and I can't do anything to help. I wonder if she'll ever love me the way I love her.  
  
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Sakura smiled at the diary, Syaoran really cared for her. Then she realized, how hard it really must have been for Syaoran while she poured her heart out to him about Yukito.  
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4/30/98  
  
We have found the person who has been attacking Sakura! It's that new kid, Eriol! I never did like him. We found out he did it so the Cards could be changed, because the original (Clow Cards), were almost out of power, and they would be just plain cards if someone didn't put more power in them soon. I still don't like him. Did you know he's going out with that teacher I was talking about? Isn't she a little old? Just a little?  
5/12/98  
  
I cannot believe I did this. I just lied to my mother, telling her I still have to protect Sakura. I'm getting too attached to her. I'm not sure how long I'll be able to stay. I wish I could stay forever, even if she doesn't ever know my feelings. Oh, I love her so much. I'm not going to write too much anymore. There's not much to write about.  
11/24/98  
  
I'm still in Japan, surprisingly. I'm not going to be able to keep this up much longer. I bought Sakura a gift for Christmas. I'm not sure why. It's a picture I asked Tomoyo for. It's in a frame, of course. It's pink, with Cherry blossoms all over it, and a sword on the right. I hope she likes it. If I give it to her. It's getting harder and harder to approach her now. She's growing up. If I'm not careful, someone might get her before me. Maybe I should just go home. It's not like she even likes me like that, and there are plenty of guy's that would kill for her. Even if the list includes me, it doesn't mean I'm who'll she'll pick. I'm depressing myself; I'm going to go.  
7/08/99  
  
I know I'm going to have to go soon. There's no way I'll be able to dodge my mother any more than I already have. And I still haven't told Sakura how I feel. I saw some kid ask her out today. I almost ran up and clobbered him. I didn't, though. I brought this on myself, I'm not going to keep Sakura from doing anything she wants to just because I'm to afraid to tell her how I feel. This is really depressing.  
8/06/00  
  
Wow! It's been over a year, huh? My mother caught on to my bluff. She called at the beginning of this month and figured it all out. She's giving me six months to do whatever is needed. Come on, it's been a little over three years, and I still haven't gotten the most important thing I need to do done, And now I only have six months? I'm really depressed now. Well, the next entry will have to be the last, I'm all out of pages. I'll have to make it count, huh?  
12/26/01  
  
The day after Christmas. I guess this'll have to be a late present. At this moment Sakura is asleep on my bed. I'm going to give this to her to read, instead of staying in the room for her rejection. Some warrior I am. Who have believed something I thought to be a doorstop at first could have brought me that much closer to the girl I love? Or that much farther. This is my last entry, and I hope with all my heart she reads on to this page, instead of stopping at '5/20/97', or '8/14/97'. This entire next part is directed to Sakura, And only her.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Ying Fa, I cannot say that I love you. For what I feel for you, I have just realized, runs much deeper than love. The feeling put behind the word love compared to my feeling for you is like an Ant compared to an entire Galaxy.  
  
But for the reason that I cannot find a word as pure as 'Love', I will use that.  
  
I love you, Sakura. I love you more than anything. I love you more than my family. I love you more than my friends. I love you more than me, or my life, and I would gladly give it all up if I knew for even a second it would make you happy.  
  
I look at you now, and all I see is an angel. If not for my inhuman, unhealthy, unbelievably rapid breathing, then I would think I was in heaven.  
  
Just seeing you, touching you, hearing your voice, makes my heartbeat double, triple, quadruple, and so on. There are times when I think I might have a heart attack just looking at you.  
  
I will rather kill myself then see you in pain.  
  
I hope dearly that you don't hate me after this. The thought of our friendship breaking, the way it might, is the worst pain imaginable. I ask you not to hate me. I ask you not to like me. I ask you not to love me. I ask only this:  
  
Read what I have to say, and believe it, because it is the one and only truth. I love you. I adore you. I worship you. I respect you. I admire you. I love you. I would do anything for you. You need only ask.  
  
But whatever you do, don't tell me that you hate me, that you don't like me, that you like me, and whatever you do, don't say that you love me, unless you mean it.  
  
My heart has been through too much, after being with you for so long, to be broken at this state. Don't give any emotion, unless you are ready to face the consequences.  
  
I've told you something I thought would never be revealed. And I hope that whatever happens, we can at least be friends. Please, whatever you do, don't feel guilty of not loving me, or of never knowing.  
  
As I said, I brought this on myself. Whatever happens now, I will suffer the consequences. I did what I needed to. And there is one thing that you should always remember.  
  
I love you, Sakura.  
  
~Li Syaoran  
  
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"I hate you Syaoran! Why would you make me read this? I NEVER loved you!" Sakura shouted.  
  
Then Sakura and Syaoran EXPLODED!!!!  
  
Ok so this whole little part is FAKE? Hope I fooled you a lil!  
  
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~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
All done with the diary portion! Next is Sakura's reaction! 


	3. Chapter Three

Disclaimer: Do I really need to say it again?  
  
Last Chapter:  
  
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I love you, Sakura.  
  
~Li Syaoran  
  
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Sakura now had some small tears in her eyes.  
  
"Did you like it?" Syaoran peeked around the corner and looked at Sakura, he had made her cry. He HATED seeing her cry, and he caused these tears. He was now sure she hated him.  
  
Sakura walked over to him, and raised her arm.  
  
'Oh no! She's gonna slap me!' Syaoran thought bracing himself for the slap. But none came. Instead a hand landed softly on his cheek and pulled his head up to look at the girl.  
  
Sakura smiled, tears running down her face, and kissed him softly on the lips. Rapping her arms around his neck as he pulled her closer with one arm. Sakura invited him to deepen the kiss when she opened her mouth a little, of course he accepted.  
  
Sakura was practically melting in his arms, the room was spinning, nothing and no one mattered at this moment except for the kiss.  
  
Finally they broke apart and sat on his bed.  
  
"I love you Sakura," Syaoran said with a smile.  
  
"I love you too!" Sakura smiled putting her head on his chest, "And you know what that means?"  
  
"What?" Syaoran asked not understanding.  
  
"You can't leave!" Sakura giggled leaning in for another kiss.  
  
"I will never leave you Sakura," Syaoran thought right before their lips touched.  
  
~~**~*--------*~**~~  
  
Yes, yes I know! PURE mush! Oh well! All done. 


End file.
